Elijah Zaine Caro

The Following are memories that family members would like to share about our little “Zaine Bug” Zaine communicated his love to me, wanting to put his tiny hand in my mouth as I held and cuddled him.

My name is Jennifer Owens, and my Angels name is Elijah "Zaine" Caro. He was born in Eugene, OR May11, 2001 weighing Five pounds and Eleven ounces, and that's what his birthday was. Zaine was also born with Down Syndrome and soon became the center of my world. I had found out 20 weeks gestation that he had Down Syndrome and that he would need an operation when he was born for a blocked intestine. I remember being so scared not having the first clue on how to take care of a child with special needs. Zaine stayed in the hospital for thirty five days after his birth and was sent home with breathing treatments and a heart monitor for about a month. It took no time at all to see this was going to be a full time job, and the best job I would ever have. Zaine kept me busy with doctors’ appointments and a handful of therapists coming to the house often. And I forgot to mention Nick, Zaine's older brother. At that time Nick was only six years old. It was tough being a single parent, but with God's help anything was possible.

If you fast forward through a lot of mistakes and trying to find myself, in 2003 we moved to Utah. I realized God really does work in mysterious ways. In Spite of not wanting to move it was the best decision for both of my sons, Zaine and Nick. And in the long run it was for me too. Zaine was my life. I felt like the world would have to stop at times with his care. I tried to be the best mom I could be for him. We had a bond, relationship only a mother and son could have. Zaine was taking great strides in life. He never quite learned how to talk, but he did a great job at yelling and playing loud. Because he couldn't hear well I don't think just how loud his screams and laughs were. I sure miss that. And another thing Zaine loved was to pull our dogs’ tails and ears. It didn't matter how many times you told Zaine he would be back five minutes later he was back at it again. Zaine thought doing that was the funniest thing. Zaine had a late start in life so things were harder for him to learn. It took Zaine four years before he knew how to walk, but once he knew how, it was on. He went everywhere he wanted and fast, making up for lost time I would guess. How fun it was to see Zaine learn new things and become his own little person. I was always the proudest Mommy. I couldn't believe that God had given Zaine to me, me of all moms. I think God knew I would try my best to be the best mother I could be to him. We learned from each other, and grew together. We were each other's rock, I didn't know until now, everything that Zaine did for me. Zaine taught me so many wonderful things, unconditional love, compassion, understanding, patients, kindness, and strength. It's pretty amazing what you can learn from such a tiny little person.

As Zaine grew older, all the doors in the house had to be closed at all times as Zaine would appear out of nowhere to try and make a getaway, if one was left open.

Things were moving OK, but there was still something missing from my life, a good man and that's when I met my future husband, Jon, in the summer of 2005. It was great because both my sons needed a father. And Jon Zaine's step dad didn't have any kids of his own. We still yet to have a child together. We dated for a year and decided the next to get married. So we did July 7, 2007. Zaine and Nick were both in the wedding. It was such a beautiful day the boys looked so handsome in their Tuxedo's. As we were exchanging vows Zaine was with the wedding party in front, trying to pull his brother's ears. It was a funny moment. Things after the wedding were nice. I felt like life made sense.

Zaine loved the water and enjoyed kicking in the water and laying on the slide in his own small plastic pool in the back yard. Zaine loved stuffed animals especially the ones that played music. He loved his Care Bear that talked and moved it's arms. After dipping it in his pool, Zaine would bring it to me to get it working again.

Zaine didn’t talk. The way he communicated when he was hungry was to get a bowl and milk and climb into his high chair. However, he had to be stopped from drinking the dog’s water when he was thirsty. Zaine’s favorite foods were spaghettios, top ramen noodles, and chips.

Then Zaine's Birthdays came. They were fun. The last two years we threw big birthday parties. We invited all his friends from school, neighbors, and family. I always wondered what he thought when all the sudden what he thought when he would see all his classmates at his house. At his party he loved jumping on the trampoline with his classmates. With Zaine not being able to talk, I never knew how he felt, but he always had a smile on his face.

Zaine didn’t like having socks and shoes on. He would take them off faster than one could put them on. He always took them off in the car when we were all going somewhere.

I remember how I had to hide my plate from Zaine if I wanted to eat it alone. He wanted me to fee him my food. He wanted to sit where ever I was.

Some other things Zaine really enjoyed were camping. Boy did Zaine love to camp. He loved everything about it. We would pack up everything even Zaine’s best friend Lilly the family dog. Zaine loved to play and eat junk food. I didn't like Zaine getting dirty, but others thought when he got dirt all over him we had to take a picture. Zaine also loved the fire. We would bundle him up and sit him on a camping chair around the camp fire. With his blanket around him, his chips and something to drink Zaine was good for a couple hours. Watching the flames on the fire and sharing his chips with Lilly and laughing, that's all he needed. Last summer we only went camping one time. I had no idea that would be the last time. I am so thankful we went. Those memories won't ever be forgotten. We also found something to occupy Zaine's time camping was to push his stroller. Zaine was lucky to see over it when he pushed it. Zaine would push that stroller as fast as he could looking down not worried what he might run into. It was the funniest, cutest thing only a mother could appreciate. I thought everything Zaine did was perfect, even him pulling the dog's ears or yelling at the top of his voice.

When his grandparents came to visit from Oregon, Zaine was so glad to see them. His Grandpa would ask him how he was doing and he raised his little hand up and said, “Fi.” He could understand and had tried to say, “Fine.”

On July 4th, 2008, Zaine was in the parade on the float for the Down Syndrome Foundation.

Zaine had his own special ways of communicating with each member of our family. When he saw Uncle Frank he would put his arms up to be picked up and hugged, and with Uncle Mark he would shake his hands very hard like “give me five”. One day Zaine’s Grandma and I took Zaine to the mall to buy some Birthday clothes for him. He crawled under a clothes rack and was taking the clothes off faster than we could stop him. We grabbed him up and proceeded out of the store as fast as we could.

Zaine also loved school. He was learning so much so fast. His teacher loved Zaine. The bus would come to pick up Zaine and Zaine knew he was on his way to school. He had parent teacher conference just a couple weeks before he became an angel. We discussed Zaine's goals. Talked about where he was at now and where he could be in the next semester. Things were looking good for him. Zaine liked making shadows with his hands. And he really enjoyed balloons.

Zaine and all of us participated in the Buddy Walk that raised awareness for Down syndrome in September 2008.

When Jon got off work he would go to Zaine’s Grandmother’s house to pick him up. When Zaine saw Jon, he would walk right to him. Lift his little arms to be picked up as he was always ready to go with Jon.

Then October7, 2008 was the last day Zaine's step Father would ever pick him up from his grandmothers. Jon said Zaine didn't seem to be feeling well and on the ride home Zaine threw up. The rest of the night he seemed tired, but kept everything down until Wednesday morning. Zaine didn't go to school because we thought he had the flu. So on Wednesday Zaine wasn't feeling good like kids do when they have the flu. Then Thursday came and he wasn't throwing up and was showing signs of feeling better. I gave Zaine a little food and juice to drink. Then on Friday Zaine still wasn't throwing up, but still not back to his old self. Latter in the day Zaine started throwing up this dark colored stuff. I was concerned so I called the Pediatrician on call. He assured me there was a bad flu going around and he was getting rid of acid bile from his system. The Doctor told me what to do for Zaine. Give him give clear liquids and easy to digest foods. The Doctor also let me know that in the Hospital they would only be able to give him an IV for dehydration, and maybe something for nausea. I was told if Zaine would drink and eat some I was doing I was doing everything right. And Saturday was about the same, Zaine was still not feeling the best, but he would try to play and walk around. My life was forever changed the morning of October 12, 2008. I found my precious little boy in his bed cold and unconscious. My heart started racing I yelled for Jon my husband to come into Zaine's room. I grabbed Zaine from his bed and laid him on the floor. Jon tried to see if he was breathing. I couldn't because I was crying was and to scared. We put his pajama's on because sometime in the night he had taken them off. It was snowing outside and it was our first snow. I didn't know that would be the last time Zaine would be in the car seat with his family. Were at the Hospital and I park the car as Jon runs Zaine inside. I go in the room in the ER and there doing CPR. There were a lot of Nurses and Doctors all around. They were asking a lot of questions that I don't know. I watched them trying to save my son. They noticed that he had no obvious trauma. No broken bones, no bruises on his little body. I heard a Doctor say that a seven year old doesn't just come into the ER unconscious for no reason. I had no idea what was going on. All I could do was sit and cry and barely watch as the Doctor did what he needed to do. I kept asking my husband what they were doing now. Jon called Zaine's Grandparents and they came right to the Hospital. Jon called the Bishop in our area. Zaine's Grandparent’s pastor was there too. After so many questions that I didn't know because I couldn't think straight the Doctor told us to go to the Hospital's chapel. Then the Doctor came in and told us the worst news. They tried to save Zaine and they did everything they could, but he didn't make it. So at 11:16 am Zaine became an Angel. My life was over as I knew it. My life was forever changed that day. I was in complete shock. It was so cold in that chapel I couldn't move. Now what? Now what do I do? I just kept talking to myself. It didn't make sense. We still didn't have any answers as to what happened, until Tuesday, Oct 14, 2008. From the autopsy, Zaine became an Angel from a strangled bowel. From his surgery he had the day after he was born for his blocked intestine. There ended up being an inch of scar tissue wrapped around Zaine's bowel, and had been growing over the past seven years.

Life is never going to be the same for me, my husband, Zaine's brother, Grandparents or anyone else Zaine was close too. I'm learning you never move on or get over this you just learn to live with the pain and loss. He may not have had the same abilities as we have, but he showed us how to climb a much bigger mountain.

We will miss him and his many teaching moments. All of us are better people because we have been touched by Zaine’s love and his angelic spirit.

Zaine was and always will be my Rock and my Hero.